"I'm Just Trying to Understand!"

Just trying to understand your culinary preferences

2010-05-19T20:10:00.000-07:00

I know it seems like this blog has become a Nicolas Cage-is-super-strange catch all...

I swear we're planning to continue the hunt for "I'm Just Trying to Understand" this summer...

and I know I'm a lacto-ovo-pescetarian who sets her own rules for what she will and will not consume on a weekly, possibly daily, basis...

but Nicolas Cage is super strange.

Cage's Cage

2010-04-16T18:45:00.000-07:00

So it looks like Nick Cage bought himself a pyramid-shaped tomb. But we think he deserves it, after possibly the best role of his career. More on that soon!!

supercage

2010-02-22T16:32:00.000-08:00

With a great blog comes great responsibility... we're getting back on track... stay tuned!

(image sent to me from Miss Brandi K. Brown... thanks!)

Nicterlude.

2010-02-22T15:22:00.000-08:00

I know... it's been too long. I think 18 months qualifies as "too long." But thanks to the incomparable BRANDON BIRD for taking his rightful place as the North Star on this journey, guiding us safely back on our course with his NICOLAS CAGE ADVENTURE SET. A feast for the senses!!

I just ordered mine, and will happily report on the many adventures we have right here. Also, look out in the coming days for some long overdue reviews, analyses, and one close call!!

"Bangkok Dangerous" (2008)

2008-09-07T21:44:00.000-07:00

While this is breaking form, there's really no solution other than this: Burning the Cage candle at both ends; watching the old from Genesis, and watching the new as they emerge from the Future Soup of any infinite number of Cage possibilities (where, ultimately, there are still only 2: He either says It, or he does not).

So I saw it.

He does not say It.

My life is entirely unchanged for having seen it.

But I had the amazing opportunity to put some Cage-logic to the test.

In Bangkok Dangerous (the ONLY new film to be released for the September 5 weekend. What a man is Cage!), Nicholas Cage plays a hitman known only as "Joe." *Spoiler Alert* There is no titular line spoken by a Thai man in broken Engrish, and for that, I guess I am thankful (ahh yes Mistah Joe. Bangkok ah vewy dangowous). So it's still unclear as to why this movie is called "Bangkok Dangerous."

At one point in the film, Cage tells his employee-cum-understudy (gross, I know, but get your head out of the gutter), in a first display of trust (and breaking his own Assassin's Code), that "there's a beer in the 'fridge," and that a beer will help take down the swelling of a beating he just took.

Later that night, back on Earth 1, I saw a massive bar brawl at All-Star Lanes in Eagle Rock whilst singing the second half of Meatloaf's classic duet, "I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)." Bottles smashed on faces, hair-pulling, furniture throwning, meat-slapping sounds of human fists on human bodies. Someone supposedly pulled a gun. The cops showed up. And while waiting to clear out, I really wanted to go up to one of the 20-or-so victims and give them the always sound, yet perennially untrue advice of Master Cage, "there's a beer in the 'fridge. It'll help take the swelling down."

But I didn't. But I told Eric. And he laughed. And I laughed. What fun is this Life of Cage.

"Racing With the Moon" (1984)

2008-09-07T21:30:00.000-07:00

"Religion's a little shaky."

And so it began. Not the movie, but the first of its quotes that caught my brain, and made me start paying attention. I kept forgetting that I was supposed to be watching Nicholas Cage, and found myself instead following the screen-chewing antics of a young Sean Penn (NOTE: This is the SECOND Cage/Penn - heh. they have synonames - film in a scant 5 years! how many more must perish? I only like him in The Sweet and Low Down).

Turns out it was nothing. A red herring. An elaborate rouse to make me think that this potentially heavy-hitting line had anything more to relate to Cage and "Understanding" than a tottering shelf in a coastal library.

I was beset on all sides with unerring woe. Darkness.

The movie plummets from there in a helix of faux-danger and douchebaggery. Weeks ago, I had more to say about the film specifically, but the Point remains: Not a single bit of Understanding came from this, but it begs a question:
As you well know, we're watching these movies, because I'm pretty sure Cage said, "I'm just trying to Understand!!" in a film of his. I can picture THAT Cage, and THAT quote like I can picture my own dear Mother. So, why watch all of these movies that clearly don't apply?

Simple.

I may have some sort of telepathic, or extra-sensory link with this Coppola-spawn, and I intend to explore it to its most final lengths, in the purist of empirical spirits. He may have said it MORE than once, or simply not said it yet. So, in response to Carol's more recent Field Report, we are committed.

But for the easily bored, feel free to skip ahead.

Field Report #4

2008-09-01T10:43:00.001-07:00

September 1, 2008

While researching the next few films on the Cage plate, I discovered...

something fairly mind-numbing...

the fact that Nicolas Cage has not one, not two, BUT 10 new films coming out between 2009 and 2010. One year. 10 movies.

NOT INCLUDING BANCOCK DANGEROUS.

Which leads me to a question that begs deciding: In the event that not ONE "I'm just trying to understand!" is found in any of Cage OTHER 53 films, must we watch even his new releases? By doing this experiment, am I potentially dooming myself to watch EVERY Cage film, past-present-and-future?? The whole point was to know for certain, once and for all, if Cage ever SAID those fateful words. SAID.

but... once and FOR ALL... how could we sleep at night knowing he might say it in future films? He might be saying it RIGHT NOW in editing rooms just miles away.

What if he says it TWICE?!

Racing with the Moon (1984)

2008-09-01T10:35:00.000-07:00

July something, 2008

Racing with the Moon (1984)
Dir. by Richard Benjamin

Nicolas Cage: Nicky/Bud

Josh and I watched this one a few weeks ago, and the summer has been a nasty speed bump in the way of more Cage-matches, let alone writing this blog. Josh claims to want to write the entry for this film, but I question his intention to ever actually do it.

Thus, I leave this entry to very near-future editing. Until then, let it be known...

"I'm Just Trying to Understand!" : 0.

Field Report #3

2008-07-29T16:46:00.000-07:00

Josh and I ran into Ryan Martin while we ate al fresco at El Greco yester-eve.

He told us, quite confidently, that Nicolas Cage says "I'm just trying to understand!" in 8MM.

I don't believe him.

YET.

Field Report #2

2008-07-16T10:13:00.000-07:00

July 9, 2008

I heard someone in the office say, "I'm just trying to understand.." into the telephone.

Sadly, it wasn't Nicolas Cage in my office. And it has to be on-screen, anyway.

Field Report #1

2008-07-16T10:10:00.000-07:00

July 7, 2008

My dreams last night were filled with Cage. Nothing sexual (thank heavens), just a lot of chasing and hunting for something involving NC. I don't need to consult my dream dictionary to get to the bottom of that!!

It's clear that I'm just trying to understand!

Rumblefish (1983)

2008-07-15T19:44:00.000-07:00

July 6, 2008

Rumblefish (1983)
Dir. by Francis Ford Coppola

Nicolas Cage: Smokey, an industrious gang member

After viewing the light-hearted Valley Girl, many of our dinner guests bowed out to bed or karaoke. Josh and I were then left alone with dirty dishes and Rumblefish.

Our friends missed out. This movie is fantastic, beautiful, and Tom Waits is in it. And Dennis Hopper. And Mickey Rourke. And a dozen other greats, not to mention Mr. Cage. His biggest scene was refreshing after watching Valley Girl: Smokey is a part of a subculture just like Randy, but he has balls in this movie. Much less weenie-looking. Which brings us to..

Dental exam: still pre-orthodonics. But at least he has a full set of his own hair!

My favorite part of this film was the cinematography, thank you FFC. My favorite part of the cinematography was how it made Diane Lane look drop-dead gorgeous.

Also, I can type cinematography fast and correctly, because I went to film school.

"I'm Just Trying to Understand": 0

Valley Girl (1983)

2008-07-15T19:25:00.000-07:00

July 6, 2008

Valley Girl (1983)
Dir. by Martha Coolidge

Nicolas Cage: Randy, a "punk" from Hollywood High.

On the Sunday night after another glorious Independence Day, Josh and I kicked off our Nicolas Cage i'mjusttryingtounderstand-athon. We made dinner with a handful of friends and watched Valley Girl. (We know that technically NC's first film is listed as Fast Times at Ridgemont High, but it's an incredibly bit part, and we are certain he does not utter the line under investigation. In the interest of time, we crossed it off the list.) This very last-minute dinner party gave way to a lot of explaining on our part of our mission and purpose, which served further motivate us, but also cemented NC into our sub-conscious.

This film is a nice little trip back to the 80's. It's better than Gidget, and not as good as Clueless. I was born in 1983 and lived through the 90s, so I guess that's an age-appropriate diagnostic.

The most conjecture this film raised concerned NC's mouth, chin, facial structure, and dental work. I'm hoping to see the exact leap from the front-teeth-pile-up of NC's cake-hole from this era to the smooth shy Cage smile of today.

"I'm Just Trying to Understand": 0